Thoughts!!!

So I know my normal posts are crafts and my 52 week project, which I must say I am really starting to enjoy more and more every week. Its starting to get warmer around her so it will be nice to actually be able to get out into the world and take a few pictures in the outside world. So onto my reason for this post. I never really seem to open up on here but for some reason I feel the need to just get it all out. We have been trying, not avoiding, practicing I don't know what you call it for the past 5 months, with no success. This is becoming harder and harder on me. Everyone says your young it will happen, and I know all of that is true but its so hard to think something you want so bad and you can't have it. Today official marks the start of Cycle #5, I laid there tonight thinking how can I want something so bad and can't have it but yet every month I get this horrible painful reminder that I cant have it. DH tries to be as supportive as possible but sometimes he just can't follow my emotions. We have both agreed to wait until December to go to the DR and ask for help but the closer July gets (back story in a moment) the more worried I get. Ok so let me back up and explain why July is a looming month for me. Last July I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and I had a laporoscopy done and had a large cyst removed. When we went back for the follow up the DR.H told us then that we had a year to get pregnant. I know he can't a stop watch on my Uterus and I know Endo has not technically been linked to infertility but its still a problem. So the closer July gets with no baby the harder all of this becomes. I want more than anything in this world is to give my Husband a baby and I know he is perfectly happy living our life just he way it is and he would never resent me if I cant. I just cant help but wonder would I resent myself. I am really sorry for rambling but I really felt I needed to get that out tonight!!!!!